In the movies, it goes like this: the heroine must tap the ceiling daily with a broom handle to try and quiet her noisy upstairs neighbor. It’s usually a rom-com and the heroine and her noisy neighbor end up living happily ever after. In real life, this isn’t the likely outcome (although one can hope). If you find yourself in this situation, forget the broom – there are better ways to handle a potential dispute with a neighbor.
1. Make it a point to meet your neighbors.
Say hello when you pass them in the breezeway. Introduce yourself. Stop for a chat when you see them while at the gym, pool, or out walking your dog. Getting to know your neighbors early on, before any disputes develop, will make it much easier to approach them later if an issue arises.
2. Don’t react in the moment.
Take some time to cool off and try to look at the situation from your neighbor’s perspective. Reacting in the heat of the moment could escalate a conflict, so take a few hours (or a day) to think about how you want to address the problem. If you want advice, talk it over with someone – but not another neighbor. Gossip can take on a life of its own and make the situation worse.
3. Think positively.
Approach this diplomatically. Keep in mind that while it is an annoyance for you, your neighbor is probably completely unaware of the situation or how it is disturbing you. For example, if your neighbor’s dog barks constantly after they leave and won’t stop until they return, your neighbor might not even know their dog is barking when they are out of the apartment– let alone that it is disturbing you.
4. Talk to your neighbor.
But first, before you talk to your neighbor, think about the situation. Was it a one-time or seldom-occurring event? If they only took your parking spot once, it could have been an emergency and it won’t happen again. That’s much different than having them park in your spot every day. If it is an on-going thing, then think about what you want the outcome to be before you approach them about it. Would you like them to turn the music down at 10:00 p.m.? This will help you discuss the situation with your neighbor in a more productive way.
5. Review your apartment community’s guidelines.
If your neighbor is somehow violating a clearly-stated policy, then you are within your rights to ask them to stop. If they aren’t, then you can’t really complain about it. For example, if the apartment community has a policy limiting noise after 10:00 p.m. and your neighbor turns the music off at 9:55 p.m., they’re following the guidelines. They have a right to listen to music until then, even if you go to sleep at 9:00 p.m.
6. Talk to your property manager.
If your neighbor is violating a stated policy, then discuss the issue with your property manager and let them handle the situation. Your property manager is a neutral party and can handle the situation diplomatically. Keep in mind, though, that just because you’ve complained doesn’t automatically mean the situation will be resolved in your favor. Whatever the property manager determines, be prepared to accept the outcome or start searching for an apartment that will better fit your needs.
