Living with roommates has its pros and cons. On one hand, you’re probably paying a little less than you would if you lived in the same area on your own. You’re most likely spending less money on utilities, and if you and your roommate get along you get to enjoy the company of a friend rather than living solo. On the other hand, when living with another person, it’s likely you will run into differences in personal habits. One of you might be a clean freak, and the other might be, well, the opposite of that. If you’re dealing with a messy roommate, here’s how to address it.
Approach Your Roommate About Their Mess
Before you attempt to set ground rules, try to talk to your roommate about the state of the rental. They may be going through a rough time, or it’s possible they’re not as conscious of the mess as you are. This is an advisable first step for approaching any roommate disputes. A nonconfrontational discussion can sometimes be all that’s needed to fix a problem. If the problem persists, however, it may be time to put some defined rules in place so that you can both live happily together.
Treat Your Rooms as Individual Spaces
The first mistake people make in trying to change the cleaning habits of others is by going too far. You can’t prescribe how someone treats their own belongings, so make sure you and roommate know that how you treat your own private spaces is up to you. If their cleaning habits lead to pest infestations or other problems, that’s when you can concern yourself with their room, but until that happens it’s best to preserve your personal boundaries.
Establish Ground Rules for Common Areas
Chances are the issues with a dirty roommate are most noticeable in common areas. Spaces like the living room, kitchen, and shared bathrooms are well within your rights to expect a certain level of cleanliness. You and your roommate can start by simply cleaning up after yourselves. When it comes to dishes, a common strategy is to expect an eight-hour turnaround on dishes. Meaning if you cooked in the morning, your dishes should be cleaned up by that evening at the latest. If you used the kitchen that night, you have until the morning to clean up your mess. If this strategy isn’t rigid enough, some roommates rely on a cleaning schedule or another type of roommate agreement to equitably space out cleaning tasks either by day or by room.
Whatever your strategy, both you and your roommate should be on the same page when it comes to cleaning expectations in common rooms.
Set up Storage Areas to Minimize Clutter
No matter where you live, how big your apartment is, or how much you're paying for rent, there are always new ways to store your belongings and cut down on clutter. If you don't want to see shoes piled up everywhere when you walk into the apartment, put a bench and shoe shelf as close to the door as possible. That way, people can sit down, remove their shoes, and place them accordingly.
If you don't have a coat closet in the entryway of your home, you might want to consider purchasing a coat rack, or some sort of hook system for the wall that will allow you and your roommate to hang your coat up as soon as you walk into the apartment.
Look for dual-purpose furniture like ottomans and coffee tables that offer extra storage space for the living room. Use shower caddies to organize products in the shower and a cart to keep countertops tidy. A solid storage strategy can visually cut down on clutter and contribute to a cleaner feeling space and can influence a messy roommate to be neater. It’s easier to leave clothes and other objects around your space if there’s nowhere to put it.
Decide on a Laundry Arrangement in Advance
If you have laundry in your apartment, you should each have a sorting system for laundry. You should also clarify your expectations about leaving laundry around the apartment. Keep dirty laundry in your separate bedrooms. If you have to share a washer and dryer, set rules for changing out loads of laundry and what to do if someone else’s clothes are left in a machine when another person needs it. Make sure you clean the lint trap after every dryer cycle and the washing machine filter if your maintenance company won’t handle it.
When All Else Fails, Consider a Cleaning Company
If no solution seems to work, ask your roommate if they would consider splitting the cost of a cleaning service with you. Your roommate may not want to put in the effort to clean and keep the rental organized, so rather than putting more effort in yourself, hiring a cleaning service can be a neutral solution. Of course it depends on how much money you are willing to spend to keep your living space clean and tidy, but if it leads to a less tense roommate relationship than it may be worth it.
When it comes to roommates, it’s best to be as clear as possible about your expectations of one another before moving in together, including cleanliness. Your lease agreement probably requires a certain level of cleanliness to keep it habitable, and if you fail to meet that standard you and your roommate could be charged. If your standards aren’t being matched by someone else’s, start with a simple conversation to address the problem. If that doesn’t work, it’s time to set some clear ground rules and maybe even implement a chore schedule. If that doesn’t work, ask your roommate about hiring a cleaning service. Remember that your standards are relative. Ask yourself if you’re being unrealistic about what you expect from your roommate. Both parties may have to compromise in different ways. If all else fails, it may be time to look for a new roommate.
