We’ve all seen movies where uninvited guests show up, suitcases in hand, at the protagonist’s front door. With wide eyes, forced smiles, and phony enthusiasm they’ll invite their visitor inside with the loaded question, “So, uh… how long are you planning on visiting?” These scenes can quickly become less comical when the scenario hits a little too close to home.
Maybe that’s not how your predicament began exactly. Possibly it started with your son, a new graduate, crashing upstairs for a few weeks while job searching. Perhaps it originated with a romantic partner staying over on the weekends, but now they’re at your place more than you are.
Whether you’re pleased by the prospect of a guest-turned-roommate or mustering up the courage to give someone the boot— negative energy may be staying rent-free in your head because guests are staying rent-free in your home. Worse yet, you could be jeopardizing your lease agreements and flirting with eviction.
So, how long before a guest becomes a tenant? How do you alter the lease if the situation is optimal or end someone’s stay if the arrangement is well, less than optimal? We’ll address how often a roommate should have a guest, how long is too long, and the unspoken intricacies of roommate/guest etiquette. Let’s jump in.
The Difference Between a Guest and Roommate
From the outside looking in, some guests may be tricky to spot, but if their name isn’t on the lease, they’re not a roommate. It’s as simple as that. Whether you’re pleased about their stay or not, guests don’t pay rent, don’t fund utilities, and aren’t liable for any damages. Visiting family, hired household helpers, and college students on break all classify as guests.
As a renter, you’re welcome to have guests! You should feel comfortable inviting your mom from out of town, having your romantic partner spend an occasional night over, or hosting a weekly book club with all your friends. What can cause issues is if your guest overstays their welcome, either in your opinion or in that of your existing roommate(s).
How long is too long?
A rule of thumb for renters is that guests staying longer than two weeks have morphed into unofficial roommate status. If you share a lease with a legit roommate, you’ll want to keep communication open and ensure they feel comfortable with any guests planning to stay more than a few nights. After all, this situation could invade their communal spaces, increase the utility bill, or create a liability concern.
Avoid trying to justify loopholes by constantly accommodating a guest, but never more than two weeks consecutively. If someone spends most days and nights at your place, they’re already treading in roommate territory.
You’ll want to check your lease to see what it says about long-term guests. Chances are, you and your roommate have already legally agreed on “how long is too long,” and if you breach your contract, you could all be evicted (fake roomie included).
Apartment complexes and rental properties should be aware of and comply with state laws, but it’s not a bad idea to do your due diligence to make sure. In some states, policies are in place to protect long-term tenants and prevent them from being evicted.
Spotting the Signs of a Guest-to-roommate Transformation
Maybe you’re holding out hope that your guest is about to split, or perhaps you’re clueless as to what their plans are. Knowing some tell-tale signs of long-term residency can help you decide when it’s time to have a conversation with your visitor.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to assess the situation:
- Have they asked for a key/ entry codes for the building?
- Do they keep groceries and provisions in your kitchen?
- Have they brought over toiletries, clothes, or even furniture?
- Are they receiving mail and online orders at your place?
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, your guest might not be planning to bounce anytime soon.
Addressing a Long-term Guest
This could be a delicate situation for many reasons. Perhaps your elderly relative has been lodging at your rental for several weeks, and it’s time you ask them to stay for good. Maybe a friend has overstayed their welcome, and it’s due time to ask them to depart (while hopefully salvaging the friendship).
Turning a Guest Into a Roommate
If you’d like your guest to become a full-time roommate, the first step is to receive approval from any existing roomies. You are the one altering the existing agreement, so make sure you aren’t pressuring your fellow tenant into something they never signed up for. You’ll also want to establish expectations with your future roommate. How long do they wish to stay? Are they financially able to produce rent on time? These questions can be helpful before sealing the deal officially.
If all parties are on board, it’s time to visit the property management office and add your guest to the lease (if that is even a possibility for your current rental). Once added to the leasing agreement, the guest is obligated to the lease, legally responsible for rent, and will be held accountable for mishaps in your home. Most rental properties will require this new addition to undergo a background and credit check. Not only does the arrangement benefit you as the renter, but it resolves liability issues for the landlord and security issues for other residents.
Saying Goodbye to a Long-term Guest
Hopefully, a civil conversation will do the trick. Explain to your guest that although you were accommodating in providing lodging at the start, it’s time to return to your usual routine. Your utility bill has been higher, your personal space has been smaller, and now you’re infringing on the guest agreement found in your lease.
Unfortunately for you and perhaps fortunately for your roommate, this situation can get sticky if a guest refuses to leave. You have much less leverage than you think. Legally it’s your rental property, and a guest overstaying their welcome is now a trespasser, right? Depending on where you live, squatters or “lodgers” have rights of their own and having them forcibly removed may not be an option.
Ideally, this issue will be resolved after a serious (albeit awkward) conversation. But if you receive pushback, pricy lawyer fees and court-ordered eviction processes could be in your future. If there’s a chance your guest could become stubbornly rooted in your rental, you’ll want to have the “temporary” agreement in writing right off the bat.
When (or if) your guest leaves, hopefully the visit was a delightful one— not a distressing one. Knowing how to best assess and handle long-term guests increases the odds of home front harmony for everyone involved.
