Last year, I was fortunate enough to live with my best friend. Before we moved in together, many concerned people asked, “Are you sure this is a good idea?” It’s a common, but unfortunate, occurrence that when two friends live together, the friendship fizzles or ends because of resentment towards one another. But for me and my BFF, we defied the odds and enjoyed our time together in our apartment home. Here are the basic principles we lived by as roommates that I’d like to share with you:
Establish a separate friend group.
You may run in the same circle, but it’s okay to have other friend groups, too. Work buddies, trivia team, etc. – Always introduce her to these other groups but don’t feel obligated to have the same friends.
Don’t always invite yourself along.
Let your best friend/roomie have a night out without you once in a while. She too may have other friends she would like to see and hang out with.
Always talk about cleaning.
Never let there be a silent war brewing over dirty dishes piled in the sink. Ask her to clean them if she made the mess, but don’t try guilt tripping – it only leads to passive aggressive comments and friendship turmoil.
Stay consistent with BFF/roomie time.
Take time out of the week to turn off the phone and really listen to what is happening in your best friend’s life. Make a pitcher of homemade margaritas or pour some wine and talk with your BFF!
Let each other off the hook.
So she forgot that it was your anniversary weekend with your boyfriend. Or, she forgot to drop the trash off at the dumpster – keep it all in perspective.
Keep intimate talks between you two.
Over time, you’re going to know so much more about your roommate/best friend; just make sure you can distinguish a funny story that can be shared at a party and what might be funny but also private that you should keep a tight lid on.
Ask before you borrow…always.
Even though she’s going to let you borrow her yellow cardigan, she’ll appreciate you asking.
Whoever he is, he isn’t worth it.
If you’re at a bar and both chat up the same guy, laugh and walk away. Never sacrifice a solid friendship for a guy who may not remember your name in two months…or two hours.
